Oh! To be understood…A Leader’s Journey.
To understand any command or request – communication must be clear.
Wow. That’s [not] a mind blowing statement, is it?
We all understand on some level that communication is something we must rely on to get our jobs done. As leaders we know that people need something to do. We know that without direction people flounder. This applies to work, ministry and even family life.
If you have kids, and I do, you are often blown away by the lack of understanding from your children. You think that you have clearly spoken, you think you have laid out the solution or command and yet, somehow, your child didn’t hear or understand. They didn’t connect with your urgency or your loving words. They ignored the blindingly obvious or they simply did not complete the task.
Seeing this in your children can often be frustrating but when it comes to dealing with adults in a work or ministry situation our minds can be blown away by the response or actions of those under us. Some people will hear and ignore. Some will hear and add to the instruction. Some people will take a task and run it in a completely different path. This is my general response…I hear the vision and in my head shift it to my own interpretation and before I know it I have to start all over again because I half listened!
As a leader it’s not only our job to empower people, to delegate tasks and to follow up, there is more to do. In our communication we must learn to speak at a frequency that people clearly hear. In his book, ‘The Seven Frequencies of Communication’ Erwin McManus defines seven ways people primarily communicate. In ministry, at work and personally we speak in a frequency that is natural and comfortable to us.
The frequencies Erwin introduces in his book are as follows…
- Motivator – speaks in baby steps and encourages frequently.
- Challenger – calls out and lifts people up, pushes them to be the best.
- Commander – gives direction and helps people in need.
- Healer – comforts, listens and is aware of the other person’s needs.
- Seer – speaks the language of vision and tries to take people forward.
- Professor – communicates information as the answer or solution to every problem.
- Maven – takes you out of your box and shifts your thinking.
I won’t explain each frequency any more than the above. I recommend getting the book, especially if you are developing your communication gift. When you understand how you communicate you can develop your skills and increase your ability to speak in several frequencies. We all have core styles, for example, mine is challenger, seer and commander. It doesn’t mean that is all I can use, we can all develop to use the right frequency in the environment we step into.
In thinking about this teaching I think that if we communicate in certain frequencies we must also hear in certain frequencies. If you think of the last time you were bored of a sermon or felt sluggish in a staff meeting you realise you weren’t connecting with the speaker. Many times someone is pouring out to us something that we don’t resonate with or receive. We ignore and filter out what we think is unimportant. When this is done in a work environment it can be critical to the success of the assignment. If half the information was missed crucial steps could be skipped. If the vision was misunderstood the brief could be misinterpreted. Done in a church setting if the heart behind the message was ignored people could get hurt. Money can be spent on the wrong stock or timings can be widely different.
In both ministry and work leaders look to see the bigger picture but if we don’t understand how we communicate and how the hearer hears what we communicate in the life of a church or business could be at stake.
I come mainly from a ministry background but I have worked secularly as a manager and a teacher. I have directed creatively and practically. In my many roles I have found that I need to constantly evaluate how I am being heard. When I ask team members to achieve a task: do I tell them? Do I relate to them? Do I look to empower them or do I instruct with detail? I have to put myself in the place of the hearer. This works well when you are one on one and it’s easier to gauge reaction and ask questions of someone face to face. However, the hard work still must be done to ensure true clarity reaches the listeners ear. You can look someone in the face, right into their eyeballs, and they can be miles away!
In a larger context of speaking to a congregation or group of people this becomes more difficult. Erwin’s solution is to double down on your core frequency. Become the best at what you are strong in and learn to read the crowd. If someone is falling asleep you can figure out that there is a disconnect. No matter how tired someone is if you can engage with them and motivate their awareness they will hear you and remain drawn to your words.
Simple communication is easy to frame in your mind but far more difficult to place in between someone’s else ears. Jesus said that the sower sows the Word of God into a person’s heart. God’s Word is the ultimate communication, it is life and it is truth but the sower never sees every listener produce fruit. In fact, only one third of one quarter goes onto to produce 100 fold fruit! Jesus was never counting on everyone hearing, doing and seeing results!
If the Son of God is aware of people’s inability to hear we as leaders must also frame our communication to reach as many of our team as possible. Where there is a disconnect we must go deeper into clarity. Repeat. Reframe. Repeat. Change the method. Focus on the reaction and create as many feedback loops as possible. Check in with your team. Get feedback and constantly adjust goals. Work with them and at some point you will hit a point where the ride is smooth and communication becomes clear.
Tips for Clear Communication
- Find out how you personally communicate and become awesome at that.
- Develop yourself and learn how to change your frequency of communication to best suit the hearer. Be purposeful in how you use language and tone.
- Sow the message. Get the message out so people can respond in their heart and can action what they receive.
- Repeat often the vision, the direction and the heart of a project or goal.
- Watch for clues as to how someone is hearing. Do they respond to commands, motivation or challenge? Do they need support before they respond? Do they need the vision or do they require information?
- Create feedback loops. Be available and proactive in how you set goals and check in often to see how the assignment is being taking forward.
- Use different methods to share. Some people like text, others voice. Set up a system of communication so that you can get to the root as quickly as possible. Voice notes work for communicating tone and heart. Text for quick response and action. FaceTime is great for personal response and trust. An in person meeting can go deep, deal with issues and empower trust to another level. Food and cake is always good.
- Ask questions. If things aren’t moving at the pace that you see inside your mind get to the bottom of why the person isn’t operating at maximum capacity by asking direct questions. You might be surprised at the answer, they may not have the skills to do the task but were too afraid to mention it!
- Be prepared to teach. Don’t assume everyone knows what you know.
- Be prepared to learn. You should have a wealth of knowledge surrounding you that you can pull on to reframe and communicate with clarity.
- Reward people in a way that they respond to. Praise doesn’t always work with everyone, challenge scares some and motivates others, gifts can be welcomed or cast aside. Learn your people and find out how to be the best you can for them!!
On your journey of communication and clarity there will be many ups and downs. Enjoy the ride. I would love to hear what you think and any other tips you may have to revealing to others your vision.
I believe that God wants us to be good at what we do. Whether it is business or ministry communication is at the top of the list. God needs us to hear His voice and will speak to you in a way that you understand. He will work with you. We must apply His tactics to those under us as we represent the Father in our endeavours.
I believe that as you press on into excellence you will see great growth in your life. Your family will be better supported and people around you will enjoy working with you as clarity for our lives go to another level!!
Learn to communicate with clarity. Enjoy your leadership journey.
